Twins: The Movie.

Last evening, it came to my attention that it would be rather easy to cast a movie that was based on the current line-up for the Minnesota Twins. I had a lot of fun doing this. Here you go:

Leonardo DiCaprio is Designated Hitter and Utility Player Jason Kubel

Stay with me on this one. We all know how dreamy Leo is, but if he put on a few pounds, he'd be perfect to play the pudgy, homerun-hitting Jason Kubel.

Matt Damon is First Baseman Justin Morneau

This was easier than any of the Twins. If Justin were smiling, the resemblance would be even more striking.

Damon Wayans is Second Baseman Alexi Casilla

Hahaha. You know I'm right.

Josh Hartnett is Catcher Joe Mauer

Minnesota native playing a Minnesota native. Perfect.

Jamie Foxx is Center Fielder Carlos Gomez

This may be a bit of a stretch, but I believe in the character-acting skills of Jamie Foxx.

Mykelti Williamson is Left Fielder Delmon Young

Best known for his role as "Bubba" in Forrest Gump, Mykelti is a fine choice for Delmon. The only issue that may arise is the age of Young, who is very young.

Alfonso Ribeiro is Right Fielder Denard Span

Who misses Carlton? I do. So, we're bringing him back to play his best role, Denard Span.

Carlos Mencia is relief pitcher Dennys Reyes










Too easy. Maybe if you were more talented, you'd be more well-liked. Which one am I talking to? The world may never know.

Young Robert DeNiro is Shortstop Nick Punto












Ok, so this may be cheating. But, I think it'd be great. Can you imagine the movie posters? DeNiro would obviously headline, but then people would see this Twins movie and realize DeNiro plays Punto, of all players. Haha.

Casey Affleck is Closing Pitcher Joe Nathan












I would also suggest Casey Affleck uses the same timid voice he used for Robert Ford in The Assassination of Jesse James.