Hawk-Eye and Peanut Butter Franken Time

We, as human beings, take a lot for granted. I would never argue otherwise. There are things I'm thankful for, but few come close to the Hawk-Eye Officiating System.

Have you ever sat down to watch TV and found yourself watching one of four Grand Slam tournaments (Austrailian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, US Open)? This happens to me more often than one would think. I am a tennis fan, but I rarely know about the tournaments before catching them while channel surfing at home. Hawk-Eye is that computer system they use to allow players to dispute a judges call. It tracks the path of the ball and uses the principles of triangulation through four high speed video cameras around the court. In each frame sent from each camera, the system identifies the group of pixels which corresponds to the image of the ball. It then calculates for each frame the 3D position of the ball by comparing its position on at least 2 of the physically separate cameras at the same instant in time. A succession of frames builds up a record of the path along which the ball has traveled. Amazing, right? Right. Using the laws of physics, it can also predict the future path of a ball. Crazy!

In other, less random news, I finished my first audio project on GarageBand last night. I took a pre-existing song (Peanut Butter Jelly Time!) and simply recorded my voice saying a word ("Franken") over parts (the word "Jelly") to make it hilarious (Peanut Butter Franken Time!). It was a little treat for Pegatron and the Al Franken for Senate campaign for which she works. After playing it at the morning meeting, this was the conversation via text message between Pegatron and I:

Me: So, it went well?
Pegatron: Yes, we all peed ourselves.

After receiving that text, I realized that the idea of an entire political campaign staff peeing themselves simultaneously is much funnier than any song could ever be.

Until next time...

Google and the Molting of the Exoskeleton

G'day mates.

Many would agree that Google is, perhaps, the largest and most powerful company that people really don't complain about. People knock McDonald's, Nike, Wal-Mart and many others for various reasons. I've realized that Google is generally untouchable because it never lets you down. The latest Google tool, created out of noticing search trends, is both easy to use and civic-minded. This tool allows you to type in your address and you'll immediately be told where you vote on November 4th. I had no idea where I was supposed to go before today. I assume this is the case for many 20-somethings who move on a yearly basis into the next best apartment or house. Thank you, Google.


Check out the website above (frighteningprospect.com) for free images to post around the city. This tends to be a more vicious way of getting out the vote, but whatever works. Right? It's also hilarious. I also found this quote about Palin from the New York Times' Frank Rich:

So what if she is preposterously unprepared to run the country in the midst of its greatest economic crisis in 70 years? She looks and sounds like a winner.

Another fun thing to do is to check out ecdysis. Perhaps when we were all younger, we found the abandoned exoskeleton (exuvia) of a bug and wonder what it looked like to molt. Well, I'll be damned if someone didn't capture the two-hour process and make it a little more enjoyable for the everyman with this 12-second time-lapse of the ecdysis. It's unbelievable to think that these creatures do all their growing in one or two hours after molting because their exoskeleton begins to harden.

Here's a question: Why do the 3 Musketeers wield swords? They're called musketeers. They should have muskets. A Google image search of 3 Musketeers gathers photos of men with swords and candy bars. Shouldn't they at least carry muskets, even if they only plan on using their blades? I'm bothered by this and unfortunately it's all the little things that kill. How true, Gavin Rossdale, how true.

Obama Supporters

Yay! Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama for President! It's reassuring that one of the most respected Republicans in America says that Barack is more capable of handling the economic crisis and that he'd much rather have Joe Biden in the on-deck circle than Sarah Palin. That's a no brainer. Also, saw Palin on SNL. I'll give her some credit... she sat there and smiled real nice while everyone made fun of her. That may improve her standing in some group of people, but it doesn't address the fact that she's incapable of handling the Vice Presidency.

In other news, I love Photoshop. It's probably my favorite computer program. Before Photoshop, it was Nibbles. Long before people were passing time with "Snake" or "Worm" on their mobile phones, I was playing Nibbles, published by Microsoft back in '91 for MS-DOS. But, back to Photoshop. I started making some different images based on the different "groups" for Obama like "Americans Abroad for Obama" and "Latinos for Obama" or "First Americans for Obama." Here are some of the results.

I have to say, I'm pretty impressed with how well these turned out. Of course, they could always be a little better, but they're solid, overall. Good times... good times. More blogging later.

Voting and My Favorite Sites

Last week I attended a voter rights panel to watch Pegatron spread the good word. It was enthralling. I had no idea that people had problems voting. And now for a very special "Did You Know?" section of my blog.

• Did you know that felons can vote? Yes, they can! As long as they are "off paper," meaning they are not currently in prison for a felony or on probation or parole. Otherwise, vote away! You've served your time and welcome back into society. But, still... you shouldn't have done the thing you did. Seriously. Felony? *slaps wrist*
• Did you know that homeless people can vote? Yes, they can! Let's assume you live under that bridge, you can register and vote in the precinct where your bridge is. And, hey, vote Obama. John McCain only loves rich people.
• Did you know that you can register at the poll? Yes, you can! Don't be fooled by the October 14th deadline to register. You need to bring ID, though (i.e. valid MN driver's license or ID card, student ID card, registration card or fee statement, tribal ID card) "But Tim, my driver's license is expired!" Never fear! Bring that expired license AND a recent utility bill and you're good to go.
• Did you know you don't need an ID if you're registered? That's right, you don't! If the election judge asks for your ID and you're registered, tell them to buck up and read the rules. It's a crime to deceive someone about the qualifications for or restrictions on voter eligibility. Talk to your county auditor if this happens. Otherwise, you're good to go.
• Did you know someone can challenge your right to vote? Yes, those bastards can! If they do, don't worry. First ask if they're from Minnesota. Outsiders can't take that right from you. After you've made sure they're from around here, ask the election judge to give an oath and test of residency. If you answer the questions correctly, you'll be allowed to vote.
• Did you know that if you accidentally click on John McCain for President and Sarah Palin for Vice President you can exchange your ballot for a new one? Yes, you can! If you spoil a ballot, just tell the election judge. As long as you return it, you can receive another. That's a state statute.

I hope this has been thrilling. And if not, I hope it has, at the very least, been somewhat informative. Also, see Fred Beukema's blog for info on wearing political swag to the poll.

And to avoid going completely political, I'm going to list some websites I like to visit.

• GraphJam! (Funny graphs.)
• BlankIt! (Funny comic written by Aric McKeown of the Mustache Rangers.)
• The Mustache Rangers! (Funny Podcast with Aric [see above] and Corey Anderson.)
• Exploding Dog! (Stick figures, robots and dogs drawn from your sentences.)
• Archie McPhee! (Stupid things you can buy, but wouldn't if you were fiscally responsible.)
• Minnesota Trial Court Public Access! (Wanna see if your friends and relatives have been ticketed or put on trial? Just go to Judgements Search.)
• Hulu! (Watch pretty much any TV show you've ever wanted to, for free.)
• Minneapolis Improv Boards! (Talk about improv in Minneapolis. Or not.)

Good day to you, sir.

Failure and the Quantum Leap

Day three of the "$20 a week" challenge. I've failed.

I went to the Bryn Mawr Market to get some poor-meal essentials (bread, jelly, peanut butter) and without checking the prices, as I assumed they were reasonable, brought the three items to the counter. Within seconds the items rang up and it came to $11. When the hell did peanut butter and jelly get so expensive? Needless to say, this little trip to the market ruined me for the week. I may attempt to live on $30 a week soon, but I need to pout about the price of peanut butter and jelly for a while.

This challenge has made me very aware of the money I spend, so for at least the next few weeks, I'm sure I'll be thrifty.

I woke up this morning at Pegatron's and I rarely stay at her house, so for a brief second I had no idea where I was. In that moment, I had a creepy thought that I woke up in another person's body, in the vein of Quantum Leap. I loved that show.

A Goal and a Dramatic Explosion

Starting yesterday and for the next month, I am going to attempt to spend only $20 a week on sustenance and other willy-nilly items. Soup and bread for lunch ($1.75, roughly) and whatever comes my way for dinner should be just fine. A coworker, told me that my body will feel hungry if it is a little dehydrated, so I'll also be increasing the amount of water I drink at work. I do hope that my urge for a Tuesday DVD run will subside as this week goes on, but the most difficult part will be ordering water at the bar. I like beer... a lot. In fact, I would even call myself a beer evangelist, spreading the good word of beers I've tasted and enjoyed. It's important to also know that I do not have a ploethera of food in wait at my home. In fact, I have very little at home. Perhaps I'll vulture some leftovers and get crafty with what little I have at home. I'll keep my blog updated with my progress. It is Tuesday and I have $16 left.

I have also started a profile at 43 Things. So far, I've listed 8 things I want to do. The majority are large goals and a few are not so huge. It's a great site to keep you motivated on accomplishing goals. And you can cheer on others as they attempt to chase their dreams.


I've started watching the FX Original Series "Sons of Anarchy." I'm a big fan of Ron Perlman and this is a no holds barred hellfire motorcycle ride to explosionville. I've realized what it takes for me to really enjoy a dramatic television series and it breaks down to 3 rules.

1. Must have organized crime or warring clans
2. Must have massive explosions
3. Must offer an occasional giggle

I loved the show "The Black Donnellys" and find the set up and delivery very similar to "Sons of Anarchy." The show can be seen here.

My sickness has left. It's feels good to swallow and not wince. The other reason I'm pleased it's gone is a little show for which I want to be healthy. Creature Feature/Survivors of the Undead Plague is set for the next three Thursdays at the Brave New Workshop at 8pm. The earlier start time is going to bring the crowds in, so I recommend buying tickets online.

Until next time.

A conversation with Matt and Peggy.

Me: Have you seen "Forgetting Sarah Marshall?"
Matt: No.
Me: It was great. I would go so far as to say it was the funniest movie I've seen this year.
Matt: Have you seen "Kung Fu Panda?"
Me: No.
Peggy: What if "Kung Fu Panda" was the basis on how we rated the movies we watch?
Me: Yeah, so I saw this great movie the day. It was called "Die Fälscher," or "The Counterfeiters." It's a Holocaust movie about Germany's attempt to use Jewish prisoners to counterfeit the British Pound and the U.S. Dollar to fund the war effort. It's no "Kung Fu Panda," but it was pretty good.

Ahh.... what if?

The Monopoly Game and the closing of my throat

Good news!

The Monopoly Game started at McDonald's yesterday. This will, no doubt, increase the amount of time I spend under the golden arches. This is both a good thing (MONOPOLY) and a bad thing (large meals consisting of primarily grease).

Barack was said to have won the debate last night. I watched a good amount of said debate and tend to agree. McCain is so awkward. I would feel so much better about this election had he not selected Sarah Palin as his running mate. God, she sucks.

The Gay/Straight Alliance is up again at Improv-A-Go-Go for the next three Sundays. Following that, 3 weeks of Hellendrung, Scott & Associates. Creature Feature and Survivors of the Undead Plague continues for the next 4 Thursdays in October. I won't be in tomorrow's show, but it's gonna be sweet meat without me. Also, CSz continues. I love this stuff.

My parents met Pegatron last night for the very first time. All parties involved were pleased. I knew that no other outcome was possible, but it was good for them to meet her. I know they were excited to do exactly that.

FallCon was last weekend. I purchased DC comics for the first time, ever. I was excited to get Superman Red Son, a book with the premise that Superman landed 10 hours later than he originally did and grew up in the Soviet Russia. Brilliant! I also met Alex Grecian, the writer of my current favorite, Proof. He told me to write him a letter. So, I will.

I've finally re-stocked on Q-tips and I can now stop taking them from my roommates. I know they're just Q-tips, but I've certainly contemplated replacing the 30 or so I've taken since moving in. In addition, I've also purchased Dove body soap. It's the first time I've not had either Irish Spring or Zest and I'm a bit nervous, but it smells so good. Mmmm... cucumbers.

Bad news!

I've had a weird sickness that kept me away from work Monday. It hurts a great deal to swallow and you really have no idea how much one swallows during the day until it hurts to do so. I find myself chewing things much longer so that they're reduced to a mere pulp in order to slowly squeeze them by my aching tonsils.

I have to wait 3 more months to the opening home game of the season for the Minnesota Swarm at Xcel Energy Center. I don't want to wait. I want it now, daddy! *breaks into song*

I want the world.
I want the whole world.
I want to lock it all up in my pocket. It's my bar of chocolate.
Give it to me.
Now!

Don't care how, I want it now.
Don't care how, I want it now!

Darn Sarah Palin to Heck

Biden/Palin.

It was the debate everyone was looking forward to. America wanted to see if Sarah Palin would break under the pressure. For the first half hour of the debate, she held her own. She connected to the American people. She talked about her roots. She mentioned "Main Street," which is one of my favorite phrases in politics. She was more energetic than Biden from the get-go, but we soon realized that she only had enough ammunition for the battle and not the entire war. She kept mentioning how John McCain was such a maverick. She used the same phrases over and over again. She flat-out said she's not going to answers questions the way the moderator wanted. And though she didn't fall into the well, she never helped her own case. Biden talked about how McCain isn't really a maverick and Palin had no rebuttle. Biden asked the American people if they are better off than they were 8 years ago and Palin had no rebuttle. Biden again mentioned that McCain wouldn't even sit down with Spain without preconditions and Palin had no rebuttle.

All in all, I'm a liberal. Of course I'm going to be cheering for the hometown team, but even conservatives have to be asking if Palin is ready for the Vice Presidency. And with McCain a heartbeat away from shuffling off this mortal coil, conservatives really need to ask if Palin is ready for the Presidency. That, my friends, would be a rhetorical question.

Last night, Biden looked Presidential. Palin looked Mayoral. End of story.

Sarah Palin is to this election as...

I'd like any of the readers of this blog to create original analogies featuring the line Sarah Palin is to this election as Blank is to Blank.

For example:
Sarah Palin is to this election as "Ernest Goes to Jail" is to the Cannes Film Festival.

Feel free to write it out any way you feel comfortable. Either in a full sentence or as you would see on the SAT or ACT (i.e. Sarah Palin :: This Election as "Ernest Goes to Jail :: The Cannes Film Festival).

Happy Analogizing!

The Walking Dead and Hotdog Buns

I love zombies so much. Spent last night seeing Zak Snyder's remake of the George A. Romero classic Dawn of the Dead. It has, perhaps, one of the greatest openings to a horror movie in quite some time. Also see Survivors of the Undead Plague, an improvised zombie movie, as our run begins tonight and every Thursday in October as a double-bill with Creature Feature, the improvised monster movie. It's gonna be giggity.

I'm not foodie, but I enjoy a fine meal every so often. I can also appreciate the simple things in edible creations. There is one thing, however, I cannot stand: Hotdog bun warmers at SuperAmerica. I'm probably never going to say or write the proceding sentence ever again, so take note; I like moist buns. As the plastic-wrapped buns at SuperAmerica sit in the warmer for hours, they start to lose their moisture and then, inevitably, either one side or one end of the bun takes on the texture of toast. If I wanted toast, I would've purchased toast. No, I wanted a juicy Polish sausage in a moist bun. (I took about 30 seconds deciding whether to keep the previous sentence in this blog and decided to leave it in because I'm THAT serious about hotdog bun texture) Does anyone else find the contrasting temperatures of the meat and bun to be soothing? I didn't enlist for pigs in a blanket, I signed up for hotdog. Bah!

The Windy City and Ororo Munroe

The weekend is over. In fact, it's been over for a while now. But, it was a good one, to be sure.

Left for Chicago on Friday night and stayed until late Monday. Here are a few things I noticed or experienced:

• White Sox fans hate Cubs fans more than Twins fans.
• Rims can be put on a conversion van, contrary to popular belief.
• Money ceases to be an issue when drinking.
• Track jackets are easy to find in large cities.
• Cabbies in Chicago are great, second only to Dublin, Ireland.
• Spending time with Pegatron is easy.
• Sarah Palin is still completely useless.

All in all, I had a great time in Chicago and was happy to see Millenium Park, the Field Museum, Wrigley Field and a ploethera of other shops and sights. I liked Chicago better than New York, but I'm still finding myself most comfortable in Minneapolis. I love this place.

Picked up some comics yesterday at The Source. Happy to say I'm the proud owner of the 4-issue limited series "Damage Control." It's an interesting concept. Superheroes fuck shit up. Damage Control cleans up their mess. Written and illustrated back in '89, it certainly is hard to get used to the old printing style, but it's fun nonetheless. A little Fantastic Four, Ironman, Spiderman, Thor, and the X-Men made cameos in the series.

NOTE: Storm is much cooler with a white mohawk ('83-'91), rather than the current poof that Halle Berry sports in the movies. (The mohawk was put on Storm because the artist heard they were going to change her hair style, so he took the liberty of making her hair look like Mr. T. That joke lasted 8 years, but should've lasted longer.)

Also, I had a great conversation with Troy, Damien and Fred last evening on the current financial crisis in America. As with most converations on the topic, I felt a bit uneducated. Monday night I calculated how much each United States citizen would get if the 700 Billion dollars were split up for all of us and it came out to about $2,300. I think Americans would be pretty happy if we got all that cash, however it will most likely go to the terds who hedged their bets and lost.























Thank you to GraphJam for the jammin' graph.